Ogre Toe Pendants!

Ogres are really mean. And they eat children! It's true. They eat teeny tiny children. They also have a taste for infants, disgusting as that is, because they are so tender. We think it's wrong. And while it is not our place to kill an ogre for his natural behavior (for, that too, would be wrong) I do feel we have a right to maim them for the sake of the children. You see, when you cut off an ogre's toe, he cannot run as fast. They lose that push off ability -- and if they cannot run as fast, it gives kids a fighting chance. Some people will tell me that Shrek would never eat a child... to wit, "Shrek is an ogre, but he is the exception to the rule -- and it is my contention that given the proper circumstances -- desperation would bring out the inner ogre, and he, too, if hungry enough, would eat a baby. It's basic economics. If I sell you an ogre toe, it leaves a gap on my sales display stick -- which means we have to fill that gap - it's supply and demand... the supply is low, the demand is high; and we have to go out and kill -- I mean, no, we don't kill them! We have to go out and *cut off* more ogres' toes! Which in turn saves more children... So-- in essence -- basic economics dictates that when you buy an Ogre Toe -- you save a child.